Oopsie! What am I going to do now?
I feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life and
I don’t know how I am going to get past this.
Have you ever made a big mistake
that may have hurt the people
closest to you?
Well, unless you are from some foreign planet and are an unidentified species, known as something other than human, I am certain you have. Sometimes we find ourselves the cause of so much pain to the people around us. Some of our mistakes cost us money, time, jobs and relationships.
After being the source of our own pain or someone else’s that we value, we find ourselves trapped on the guilt merry-go-round. We end up feeling like a bad person, no longer deserving of love and happiness. If the wound is severe enough, we can end up feeling like a monster.
You may be surprised but, a lot of people report a life of regret. We start out young with our whole life in front of us, imaging the adventures the world has for us. While in high-school, it seems we have so many doors of opportunities waiting for us to open them. However, years go by and many people end up reflecting on all the different directions their life could have went.
Their life reflections often turn into life regret. Obviously, for them to feel regret or remorse at this point in their lives means they’re not all that happy with how things turned out. They spend an excessive amount of their time as well as their emotional energy on thinking about what could’ve, should’ve, or would have happened if only they made a different decision at some point in their life.
These negative thoughts will only lead to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem eventually can lead to depression. After depression, we end up destroying whatever good relationships we have left. It is a negative downward spiral that can be traced back to the painful event we caused that led to us feeling like a horrible person or a monster underserving of love and happiness.
Last week we touched on self-discipline self-discipline and how bad our life could get without it.
Is the negative downward spiral the kind of life you want for yourself? Well, the problem is if you have little or lack self-discipline, there’s a high probability you will live a life of regret. You will be thinking to yourself “What if I stuck with the hard but necessary goals in front of me? What if I just stay focused instead of just dropping everything to go after what was easier or a lot more fun?”
The worst part to all of this, is that regret is so lonely. Regret makes you feel the only person that’s going through this is you. That’s not true because if people are completely honest with themselves and really say what’s in their heart, there’s a lot of regret. It’s actually very common.
So I want to challenge all of us today to make the decision to be self-disciplined in the area of controlling the present. The past is the past and cannot be change. The future has yet to be written, but the present, is a beautiful gift. It is a gift that allows us to determine what gift is inside of the present.
Here are five ways you can practice self-discipline to remove the self-sabotaging thoughts of regret.
- Accept that we as humans are imperfect and make mistakes. Some may be big, some may be small but it is not the end of your story.
- Stop the negative self-talk. We talk to ourselves in our heads more than we talk to anyone else. Be sure that you are saying kind things to yourself.
- Change your surroundings. Determine what the trigger is when you start your downward spiral. Is it music, people, social media or the web? Identify the source of your negative thinking and change your environment.
- Focus on your blessings. It is so important we keep a gratitude journal, gratitude is the biggest source of changing our attitude. Take time to write at least 3 things you are grateful for. The more time your spend thinking on the positive the more you will notice that you feel calmer and happier.
- Forgive yourself. Forgiveness has the power to set you free. When we hold onto un-forgiveness we become chained to our history, not capable of walking into our destiny. The bible says forgive a person 70×7 because the same measure we forgive others is how we are to be forgiven. Well that applies to yourself as well. You cannot give someone else what you have not given yourself.
Overcoming regret and exercising self-discipline has allowed me to rise and walk in my purpose. A piece of my purpose in life is to spread hope through my Guide to Rise. Check it out if you are seeking more inspiration.
Until next time family, be intentional. Practice self-discipline. Remove the regret from your life. You have a whole future that has yet to be written. As always family, I love you. It’s Time to Rise!